Parent Teacher Meetings...African Style

There are so many things that I would like to focus this entry on, but one stands out amongst the rest.  I must first apologize for the delay, I have been dealing with the local nightmare known as the Government and immigration…but I won’t bore you with all of that! 

Adam and I broke out a recent donation, a telescope and introduced our P3 children to that for the first time.  None of the children had ever seen something like this before and neither had most of the teachers.  They were amazed and were a bit intimidated at first, but they were even more amazed after looking through it!  Each child stepped up on a chair and looked through to find me hundreds of feet away holding a sign saying “I see you!”  I could see when they finally recognized me because they would excitedly wave and the read the sign to Adam who was helping them with the telescope.  Adam said that they would all then try to greet me as if I was actually close to them.  You can see some pictures here and read a bit from our volunteer Adam! Adam's Blog

The children are doing great which is of course the best news possible, but the thing that is most on my mind is our school meeting.  We held a school meeting on Wednesday and had been talking about if for at least a month.  With announcements daily to the children, contacting the community and announcements in church we were excited for the opportunity to speak directly to the parents and guardians for the children.  It was at 9 a.m. on Wednesday which is actually the ideal time and day here because the parents could arrive early and still have time to work after and take care of their homes.  So Fr. Kitali, Mama Shayo, Madam Gonda and I all anxiously awaited the parents.  At 9 a.m. we had 1 parent and by 9:05 we had a total of 4.  One big difference of “time” here is that people are always late, all the time, to everything.  In fact I was at a wedding one time that started an hour and a half late because they were waiting for people and no one even batted an eye.  So together myself, the teachers and Fr. Kitali waited, for an hour until we couldn’t wait any longer.  We had less than 50 parents or guardians at that point, but we had waited long enough.  

On our end the meeting went well; we discussed school policies, expectations and most importantly what we needed the parents to do at home.  We have been noticing a disconcerting trend of our children not being cared for at home. Most notably they were coming to school dirty, late and having not completed any homework.  This happens all the time, but lately it seemed to be getting worse.  We want the parents to be invested in their children and value them unfortunately we are fighting an uphill battle.  With 116 pupils, I was certainly expecting more than 50 adults to show up to a meeting set at their desired time (especially considering we waited for an hour for them to show up).  Not surprisingly the parents that we need most to show more involvement in their children did not even bother to attend the meeting.  It is a sad truth that children are often not valued here nor cared for.  That includes our children at Stella Maris that we all love so much too.  However on a day that could have been a complete disappointment there was one positive outcome.  The adults that did show up were frustrated as well.  They spoke out about people showing up late (kind of awkward because they were forced to sit in the front closest to us, the 4 Stella Maris representatives) but most of all they were upset at their neighbors and friends that didn’t bother to show up.  They see the other children walking to school dirty and know that others haven’t done anything for the children in their care.  The word that Mama Shayo always uses is "contribute" and it is a struggle to get the parents or guardians to contribute to their children.  Our only hope of reaching these adults now is through the community and my prayer is that it mobilizes them to begin to do more for the children.  Hopefully the glares and disappointment of their neighbors will be enough to urge them forward.

We are in an incredible position here to do something tremendous for this community and these children.  I am also reminded of how blessed we are in our communities especially our local communities such as St. Joseph that we have such strong parents that care about our school.  You can not realize how much a parent does for a child until you see a child without one.  I see the evidence of what not having loving parents does every day, and also the incredible change in confidence and body language a smile and a warm greeting does for these children.  Our role at school is big, but not big enough.  Our impact is limited by the simple fact we have to send the children home everyday.  Please keep these families in your as we hope they can find room in their lives and hearts for their children.  We know that at least for 8 hours a day we provide them with a safe haven and also act as an example of what love is.  I just want to say thank you to my parents and all of you parents that do so much for their children.  I miss very much the impromptu parent teacher conferences, countless emails, calls and all of you parents that kept me late at school.  You are welcome here anytime, many of our children need you.

Back In School!

Marching to the classrooms for the beginning of the new term

This week marked the beginning of the third and final trimester of the school year at Stella Maris.  I’ll tell you what, it was pretty great to be back in the classroom with all the children.  The semester does begin with many changes.  For the first time I will have a fellow teacher from America Adam Archer, here for the whole term (and half of next year too) to work with and teach the children.  Adam is with our new all-star of a teacher Juliana Kway working hard in P1.  He will also be helping in his own expert field of Social Studies.  Juliana has been working hard for the past few months to get the P1 students ready for P2, but with 44 students in the classroom, it definitely will help to have someone to co-teach with.  Adam taught high school Social Studies in America, so it also makes perfect sense for him to bring some of his skills into that field for our students at Stella Maris, most notably in History and Civics.  It is a real blessing to have him with us and I definitely appreciate having another American guy around to work with and talk about football.  

As for me I am taking back my original students from years ago now in P3, as well as taking P2 and helping when I can in P1 when I can.  Most of my focus for the next few months will be English and Math though.  The one class Mama Shayo decided was my highest priority was P2.  “They are not good right now” she said to put it nicely.  For whatever reason they have been running rough shod over the instructional time and struggling especially in English.  Most likely because they were bored in class, lacked structure and were struggling with the language barrier.  The first day of the new term I said my piece to the P2 students about my expectations in class and then began to follow through.  One of the funniest misconceptions about young children in Africa is that they are perfect little students.  They do look forward to school and they are thankful, but they do not sit perfectly and quietly.  They are children.  Children are children, no matter where they are from.  If their friend talks to them, they want to talk and if someone is playing, then they want to play.  Of course in a class of 35 this can happen an awful lot.  Nevertheless I use the same behavior strategies I do in America; I compliment those who are doing the right thing to remind everyone else of what they should do.  I have always found I preferred to be around people who are kind and good hearted, and I don’t think that is unique.  I also recognize that I would much rather work hard for someone I cared about and who cares about me.  So if a classroom is a happy place, with a teacher who cares, then the children will want to be in the classroom working together.  This of course is completely crazy to the teachers here who are taught more “old school” methods of behavior management.  Luckily for me after years of being together they just let me do my thing.

After a few days the children were already doing better, they realized that they didn’t want to have to stand outside or sit away from everyone and that my expectations were not changing day to day.  Before every lesson I reviewed my expectations “We are going to keep our ears open to listen, our mouths will only talk English, and we will raise our hands when we want to share”.  After a few days I realized I left out the most important part of my role in the classroom.  I then told my students “I want you all to do well today because I love you and know you can do well.”  Love is the reason why I am here, the reason why I teach and most of all it is the reason for this school.  They deserve to know I love them no matter what and they should hear it every day.  By the end of the week they had mostly figured it out, they sat quietly, raised their hands without talking and were working harder than before.  I know there will be lots of hard days.  They will test me, talk while I am talking, forget to raise their hands, play while I teach, and not perform as well as I hope on examinations, but it is a start.  For two whole lessons on one day I could look at the students and know that we all understood why we were in the classroom together.   

I am here to teach them because I love them and they are here to learn.  The truth is I didn’t become a teacher because I always wanted to teach, I became a teacher because I wanted to help children who needed me.  It just so happens that teaching was the best way for me to do that.  I also didn’t plan on teaching in Africa, but I found an extraordinary opportunity and challenge in Tanzania, so here I am again.  I was not a good kid in school, I talked all the time, never listened and got into plenty of trouble.  I even sat alone starting in first grade because my teacher gave up on me in the first two weeks because I wouldn’t stop talking.  It’s the children that talk too much, play too much or just need someone to show them a little more attention that are the ones I relate too.  What is most incredible about Stella Maris is that we have 116 students that need someone to be that “little more” for them almost every day.  They may have missed a couple meals, had a tough time at home, slept on the ground, been ignored or just need a little bit of love.  It is being that person they can count on that brings me so much joy teaching in whether I am in America or Tanzania.  Teaching is challenging, draining and motivating all at once especially with 116 high need students.  Now with a new semester upon us and a great challenge ahead I can honestly say I could not be more excited.  I’m excited because I get to be the example, to be that person they can count on to be loving and caring every day so that these children know how special they are.  

Thanks everyone for your tremendous

response to my last post.  I really appreciate all the kind words of encouragement.  I really do thank all of you who are so positive and supportive of me.  You will never know what it means to me, but understand it is your example of love that I am trying to spread.  Thank you all and God bless.

My Weekends in Tanzania

I wrote couple months back about how I left my perfect job at St. Joseph teaching first grade in my hometown, with families I love, at my home parish, surrounded by friends and family, at school who supported me personally…I really had everything someone could ask for, but I still felt incomplete.  Not to say that I didn’t appreciate everything I had, but rather that I could just give more of myself and be a little more for people who needed me.  With my friends, coworkers and beloved students back in session at St. Joseph I decided to share my best explanation for why I’m teaching here, now and not in America.  

First off let's be real, I miss so many things.  I miss being able to stay out late in Chicago with my buddies who I have known since elementary school, talking about sports with my brothers, watching ESPN, working out in a gym, eating pizza, going out on dates with girls and basically everything else a 25 year old guy “should” be doing.  But even at home while I was doing those things I still missed here more.  To be perfectly honest, it comes down to food.  It is one part of the day I never am allowed to take for granted here, and I am very rarely alone.  I enjoy eating my breakfasts and dinners with guests as we talk about our different projects, the safaris they went on or climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro.  What is most important to me and what I missed at home were the meals that I now share with my children…

I have always been one that keeps things “close to the vest” it's probably one of my greatest faults, but as my buddy Matt told me "you just got to man up and share".  So here goes... My weekends now are not like back home, no more late nights with my buddies or dates, but instead I go to bed early in order to be up early for any child who needs me to be a little more than my teacher hours require.  Since our hotel is in the middle of Mailisita next to the school, the children always know where I am and they can always find me.  After my first weekend I realized this trip would be different when I saw some students hanging around just to spend the day together.  So from then on I told our security guards that any child of Stella Maris is welcome as my guest.  The reasons for their visits vary, but for the most part it is always the same, food.  One of the greatest gifts of our school is not only the English education the children receive, but also the financial burden we lift for the families that care for our children.  This allows them to hopefully buy shoes, clothes and most importantly food for the children.  Even still, many families fall on hard times or are simply unable to care for their children.  It has been one of the hardest things for me to accept, and during my first week here I decided I would do as much as I could no matter what the situation.  I had to face one such dire situation early on with a girl I have spoken about many times with my interviews, Catherine.  She is the one child I’m always asked about ever since those interviews and I guess it was only fitting that she told me she needed me to visit her grandparents at home the second day I was at school.

 

So that weekend I went to Catherine's grandparents home, a hand built hut with no electricity, no water, and very few crops.  It took only a moment before they broke down, cried and said they needed help with caring for Catherine.  They just couldn’t do it.  So I knew what I had to do, which was help as much as I could, since that is why I am here.  I told them I could provide them with small items to help with Catherine like soap, sugar and that Catherine was always welcome for food whenever she needs it.  She was down to 44 lbs as a 9 nearly 10 year old girl and it was clear they couldn't give her food outside of what she gets daily at school.  It is really a simple gesture, just give food.  To care for whoever needs me and it didn’t take long to grow.  It started with her, and most of the time it was just the two of us chatting away for hours, telling stories, drinking tea and eating as much food as she could fit into her belly.  Other days it’s two, three, six or whoever wanders by and says “I’m hungry, I didn’t eat any food” or "My grandparents said you could help me".  It was an inconsistent number for the first couple months, but I could always count on Catherine.  With each meal we would grow closer together and her performance in school steadily rose.  With her basic needs of food and love finally being met, she was finally growing as a student again.  With every visit to her home I hear from her Grandparents how they have witnessed a change in her and her Grandmother said "I thank God He brought back her father to care for her". 

Then two weeks ago I was drinking my coffee in the morning and saw two smiling faces staring at me.  Catherine had been coming to see me in the morning from about 9am until 3pm daily, but today I had a new visitor.  Another student of Stella Maris who was a late addition to our school due to the severity of her situation had joined Catherine, it was Eliza.  Eliza lost her father last year and her mother is very sick, so I knew a bit of her background and that she was in need of some extra help.  I of course welcomed her for some tea and breakfast and she devoured the food.  After a little while I began to ask what was going on at home.  I asked “when did you eat your last meal?” she said “I don’t know” She said she had been home alone for 2 days because her family had gone to a hospital in Arusha.  She was left without anyone to care for her and without any food.  She was just forgotten about.  So since that day our group has grown and every day during our holiday and on the weekends I wake up in the morning and sometime during my first or second cup of coffee I see two little faces looking in and smiling waiting to be invited in.   We eat together, play, read, do math and just spend time together.  I realize now our time together is about more than food.  It is time that they know they can count on being with someone who will be there for them and show them love and care.  That is why I am here, so I can be a teacher but also because here I can be that something more I was missing.  Here I can be pushed emotionally, stretched thin and forced to be everything for different people daily, but that is when I am most happy. 

So my weekends here might not be as exciting on paper as back home, just eating lunch with a few children, but it is the meals that are the reason why I am here.  I was admittedly very nervous the first time I heard “Mr. Terry will help you” because I was afraid that I might not be able to.  I realize now that every experience has prepared me for this work and that these meals are the reason why I am here.  I am here because these children need someone they can count on. I like being that person that they can all turn to and lean on.  We can all be proud that we have given every child at Stella Maris a school that they can count on.  

Thank you everyone and God Bless!